OPE! Mixtape #67: Sleep Token

Read the original Sleep Token newsletter post.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

For those who may not know: Sleep Token is an English alt-metal band in which the members are anonymous and wear masks, the frontperson is called “Vessel,” and apparently, there’s a whole bunch of lore that would make Lord of the Rings look like Neopets. I have no idea what the lore is. It doesn’t matter. They’re having quite a moment. Some people are calling them “progressive metal” or “post-metal.” Some people are calling them “shit.” And they just earned a No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 chart with their fourth album and RCA Records debut, Even in Arcadia.

Not a No. 1 on the metal charts. No. 1 on the Billboard chart.

Also, a notable stat via Keith Caulfield’s reporting at Billboard (link here): this album’s streaming numbers are so big that it scored the largest streaming week ever for a hard rock album.

That’s crazy.

It’s a notable debut from a band I wasn’t too familiar with, even though they’ve appeared on the Billboard charts and even made a few dents in the Billboard 200 chart with past albums and singles; this is not a total rags-to-riches story.

However, Sleep Token’s brand of major label metal has quickly divided my corner of music journalism, which is full of rock and guitar nerds but not as many dedicated metal nerds, though I know a lot of great metal writers out there.

Most critics in my lane seem to hate this album. The most notable pan so far has come from Pitchfork. I know the writer who wrote their 2.3 album review. It’s a well-written review from a writer whose work I enjoy, but I found the review too indulgent and self-righteous, even by pre-Conde Nast Pitchfork standards. (As a disclaimer, I also contribute to Pitchfork; hate the game, not the player, as they say.) With a rating so artificially low—which, to clarify again, is finalized by the editors after the writer presents a score range—you’re just daring people to listen, thus reinforcing its popularity.

Picture an edgy record store clerk wearing a Death Grips t-shirt running the last vinyl store in your hometown, daring a bunch of 19-year-olds to be “normie” enough to listen to Sleep Token and daring them to like it. That was the energy this month on music journalism Internet.

Well, I listened to the album. And I liked it.

I didn’t love it. Mercifully only 10-tracks long (unlike Morgan “37-tracks” Wallen, whose new album just bumped Sleep Token from No. 1 and which I’m reviewing in next week’s newsletter), Even in Arcadia feels tight. Its impressionistic lyrics and emphasis on sound over wordplay give it a certain freedom that modern pop albums often lack, where you’re expected to pull up the artist’s Instagram and 157 thinkpieces written by celebrity or news bloggers, not music journalists, to understand all the references. (Charli XCX: B+ musician, A+ content creator.)

Even in Arcadia also feels like the latest entry in this century’s long project of genre demolition. For the non-metalheads, its closest ancestors are artists like Linkin Park, Frank Ocean, and, in a slightly fuzzier lineage, Deftones. But unlike Deftones, whose influence continues to ruin emo and hardcore by instilling a fear of being obvious or having dynamics, Sleep Token practically lives for the obvious.

I thought about Linkin Park the most while listening to Even in Arcadia. It’s handy shorthand—how you feel about LinkedIn Park is probably how you’ll feel about Sleep Token. Linkin Park were also initially hated by critics while selling a billion albums and being beloved by fans. Those same fans who grew up on Hybrid Theory have since grown up to take over the music industry and are more open to bands that feel less restricted with sticking to one genre or style.

There are some literal music connections, too. Even in Arcadia has a mix of falsetto rapping and the vibe of those TikTok drummers doing metal covers of Jimmy Bufffet. This isn’t too far off from LinkedIn Park’s mix of Adult Swim-levels of rapping (so just good enough to impress an 11-year-old) and guitars with enough compressed distortion to make your cousin’s cargo shorts blush. And like Linkin Park, and bands that came after like Twenty One Pilots, Sleep Token is hilariously earnest and sincere in their (albeit cathartic) rage. Which I don’t mind.

What I do mind—and what keeps me from actively defending this album—is that every song on this album follows the same structure: A soft, twinkle of an opening, followed by breathy, yassified rapping, drum beats that signal the pre-chorus, then the actual metal coming in to blow your head off with a lot of screaming. I said “hell yeah” the first two times the drop came. I nodded politely when it happened eight more times, each time right on cue.

My favorite song on the album is “Caramel.” I’m not exaggerating: if you listen to “Caramel,” you’ve heard the whole album.

For music critics—especially those who don’t follow modern metal and are still not over Deafheaven making a pink metal album for yoga moms a decade ago—Even in Arcadia probably sounds like blasphemy against everything metal is supposed to stand for. I’m sympathetic to the feeling that high-gloss metal needs to be called something else. I don’t buy the hate, though. I sense that for most fans who don’t sit down and interrogate new albums as intensely as I did growing up and just enjoy putting music on in the background while on the computer or phone, this repetition is probably an asset. You’re eased into this slipstream, and the band, to their credit, keep you locked in with melody and the occasional memorable riff.

This is not metal gone wrong, but metal playing to the strengths of what hooks modern mainstream listeners—the unique twist being its earnestness that, frankly, I liked, even if the final results don’t add up to a consistent package. Again, hate the game, not the player.

So if I’m not exactly won over by Even in Arcadia, I believe the fans and new listeners who genuinely like this album. I think it’s fun when such an un-mainstream-sounding album tops the charts. It’s fun to still be surprised and curious by new music. I won’t die on the Sleep Token hill. I’ll gladly visit again.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #66: Finally “getting” Billy Strings

Read the original Billy Strings newsletter post.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

Over the weekend, The Hollywood Reporter assigned me to cover the Outlaw Music Festival’s stop in LA. You can read my recap here: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/willie-nelson-bob-dylan-outlaw-festival-hollywood-bowl-1236219388/

The show included Bob Dylan (whom I’ve written about a few times), Willie Nelson (whom I interviewed a few years ago), and the person I was most interested in seeing: Billy Strings.

Billy has been on my radar for many years. He’s always been highly recommended by my fellow-recovering-Dave-Matthews-fan peers as a dude who wrote bluegrass jams about meth and can play the guitar like no one else. This is not an endorsement of meth but of bluegrass jams by someone who may seem atypical of the genre, if you haven’t been paying attention to bluegrass or Americana in the last few decades or only know bluegrass from that one (albeit still good) Coen Brothers soundtrack.

For folks within the jamband extended universe, studio albums tend to be more miss than hit too. (I would know, since I reviewed a Goose album for Pitchfork.) This can make it hard to get into new artists, and I was predictably underwhelmed by Billy’s studio albums, even as I was repeatedly told to catch him live to see him at his best.

Y’all, he crushed it.

I didn’t have space to include as many Billy details in my Hollywood Reporter recap, but I’m won over. I’ve been in an indie rock rut lately, so switching up my usual rotation for more bluegrass and Americana has been nice.

The first album I would recommend is last year’s Grammy-winning Live Vol. 1. Billy looks like a doofus, so feel free to play this video but just focus on the music.

While I’m in this bluegrass mood: If any of y’all have any good bluegrass recommendations, let me know.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #65: The music of Grand Theft Auto 6

Read the original Grand Theft Auto 6 post.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

This past week, my latest Vulture feature went live, exploring the music of the latest, and quite good, Grand Theft Auto VI trailer.

Here’s the link: https://www.vulture.com/article/grand-theft-auto-vi-trailer-music-explained.html

It was fun to write as we now enter a year-long waiting game for GTA6 to (hopefully) come out. I hope the delay is worth it. As I argue in the feature, I’m sure the music will be phenomenal.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #64: I started a podcast

Read the original podcast post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

Fun update: OPE! now has a podcast.

Welcome to OPE! Music.

It’s been a long time coming.

The OPE! Music podcast is an extension of this newsletter’s weekly OPE! mixtape. New episodes and videos go live every Monday, and I go deeper into reviewing one new (or new-ish) song that I included in the past week’s mixtape.

If this newsletter, and all my work and everything on my website, is me channeling Roger Ebert, this podcast and video series is me channeling At the Movies.

If you like the songs you hear, sign up for the mixtapes for more great tunes. Pretty simple, right?

I’ve published a few episodes already, and it’s fun to see how these episodes have already grown and how they will continue to evolve. I’ve been teaching myself Adobe Audition, and it’s also been fun learning the ins and outs of audio engineering and YouTubing.

Just to be explicit about how you can best support OPE!: Like and subscribe OPE! Music on your preferred channels, and sign up for this newsletter if you’re new here.

This week’s episode is all about Soft Play. Thanks, y’all, for listening and watching.

Listen to the latest episode on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/embed/episode/2cFaLmwQAWLK9a2YZij0vE

Listen on Apple Podcasts:

https://embed.podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soft-play-everything-and-nothing/id1805375618?i=1000706330172

Watch on YouTube:

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/EU58B-gSejM?rel=0&autoplay=0&showinfo=0&enablejsapi=0

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #63: The 2025 Rock Hall, Pt. 2

Read the original 2020s favorite music post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

I’m still playing catch-up from last week’s vacation. I’m running on little, admittedly. I hate the first few days after vacation when you have to adjust time zones and feel like you need another vacation after you just went on vacation, even if vacation was wonderful. World’s smallest violin, I know. It was great being back in Indiana. I forgot how beautiful spring in the Midwest can be.

This week, I have enough energy to follow up on my newsletter from back in February, in which I broke down the 2025 Rock Hall nominees and who I’d vote for.

The official winners have been announced.

And … eh!

The 2025 class:

  • Bad Company
  • Chubby Checker
  • Joe Cocker
  • Cyndi Lauper
  • Outkast
  • Soundgarden
  • The White Stripes
  • Special honors: Salt-N-Pepa, Warren Zevon, Thom Bell, Carole Kaye, Nicky Hopkins, Lenny Waronker

So no-go on Oasis, Joy Division/New Order, Billy Idol, The Black Crowes, Maná, Mariah Carey, or Phish.

Here were the original blurbs I wrote, but for the winners this year:

Bad Company

I forgot how many bangers they’ve got. They’re also weirdly a popular staple at most karaoke bars I go to. Not essential, but I wouldn’t be mad if they got in.

Chubby Checker

The inventor of The Twist! I’ve seen some clapback against this nomination—did Checker do anything notable outside of The Twist? Tom Erlewine (whose newsletter you should also subscribe to) wrote a convincing case that maybe Checker shouldn’t get the nomination. It’s a valid argument. Still, sticking with my previously stated feelings of the Rock Hall being an institution to preserve history, I think it’s good that we give explicit credit to Checker for what is still one of the most iconic pop dances and, dare I say, pop songs in American history.

Joe Cocker

Cocker’s chances of getting into the Rock Hall decrease with each passing year, especially since this was such a huge Gen-X year that signals the near end of the Rock Hall’s longtime Boomer dominance. Your favorite classic rock bands were influenced by Cocker, so he deserves a spot. It might as well be now, or at least soon.

Cyndi Lauper

I still haven’t listened to a single Lauper album in full. I have no plans to. Her singles are still going strong, though. They’ve become so embedded into pop culture that even the young folk know who she is. This is the best-case scenario for Chappell Roan’s career.

Outkast

The sweet spot of being critically adored and clearly influential. They’ve also sold a lot of records that a lot of rock fans still really enjoy. Outkast is now Dad Rock, and Dad Rock fits well into the Hall.

Soundgarden

I respect Soundgarden more than I like them, but I would argue that they sounded and acted more like classic rock than their peers Nirvana, who are already in the Rock Hall. You can’t tell the history of ‘90s alternative rock without Soundgarden, so that’s enough for me.

The White Stripes

I like the White Stripes more than I like Bad Company, but I tend to fall in line with the general “wait until your turn” mode of Rock Hall voting. Too many deserving nominees have been waiting longer to get in. I also frankly don’t like the White Stripes that much.

So … yeah, the winners of the 2025 class were all from the middle-bottom of my voting poll. Everyone who got in this year deserves it in some way, but I think some other folks deserved it more. I’m glad Bad Company might get a streaming bump. Chubby Checker and Joe Cocker are good historic picks, and they are boring picks. Cyndi Lauper will probably give a too-long speech. Outkast is a nice pick, and I’m curious if they’ll perform and who’ll induct them. Soundgarden is well-deserved, but I still have no sense of how younger listeners feel about Soundgarden or grunge in general. The White Stripes feel like the “big” pick this year, if for no other reason than that it brings up some speculation of whether Meg will show up this year.

Congrats to the winners.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #62: My favorite music of the 2020s so far

Read the original 2020s favorite music post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

Continuing the theme of last week’s newsletter, I’d like to focus more on the specific songs and albums that still stand out to me in the 2020s so far.

But first, a few “corrections” and additions.

Even though I said that my 2020s list would change depending on the day I wrote it, I’m embarrassed that I blanked on adding Adam Curtis’s six-part 2021 BBC documentary Can’t Get You Out of My Head. I thought it came out in 2019; I now remember that it came out in 2021. I love this ambitious, flawed, borderline batshit-crazy documentary more than most things I experienced in the 2020s so far. With respect to Oppenheimer or Waxahatchee, I would have replaced one of them with this. You can watch the first episode, and I believe every episode, in full on YouTube.

Thinking about my list more, I would also have tried to sneak in Joachim Trier’s 2021 film The Worst Person in the World, a movie I greatly enjoyed upon its release and which now feels like the most “This is what it feels like to live in this decade as a young-ish person” pick. It doesn’t quite reach Annie Hall levels of quality—it gets close—but it scratches that same itch of a melancholy romantic comedy about city love and indecision. Put another way: It feels like the classic films of past decades, yet I can’t picture it making sense in the 2010s. What an ending, too.

OK, back to music.

Again, the criteria: What albums and songs made me feel happy to be alive?

Ask me tomorrow, and this list will change.

And again, “favorite” is not “best.”

Also, I try not to repeat any artists or include any songs that are already on my albums list. I’m allowed to break this rule once.

Listed in alphabetical order by artist.

Let’s do it.

Honorable Mention

The Kentucky Route Zero soundtrack is probably my favorite overall album on this list, but there’s a catch. This is a Ben Babbitt soundtrack for a video game initially released in volumes from 2011 until … January 2020. Part of me wanted to include it on the technicality of “Well, the album was finished and released in its entirety in the first month of the decade.” I decided against it, especially since the game and its music just scream “2010s!!” and feel more at home in the last decade. It’s still a masterpiece.

Songs

The 1975 – “About You”

It’s now obvious that the female duet in the song’s bridge was written for and about Taylor Swift. That still doesn’t ruin for me what I argue, along with Pitchfork naming Loveless the top album of the ‘90s, helped kick start our recent mini shoegaze revival.

Chappell Roan – “HOT TO GO!”

The rare time I felt in sync with the zeitgeist. What a fun song.

Daryl Johns – “I’m So Serious”

I miss when bands were influenced by The Replacements and not the Goo Goo Dolls.

DJ Sabrina The Teenage DJ – “Will My Love”

I’m quite fond of Sabrina’s 2023 album Destiny, but “Will My Love” feels like that entire album condensed into seven minutes.

MJ Lenderman – “She’s Leaving You”

It was either this or Lenderman’s Waxahatchee collaboration on “Right Back to It” as my vote for this decade’s “We’re still not allowed to talk about Whiskeytown anymore and Jason Isbell and Wilco are too washed to function, so this fills the y’alternative void” award. Not to take away from Lenderman’s craft, of course.

Rosa Walton – “I Really Want to Stay At Your House”

A return entry from last week’s newsletter. This is anime bliss of the highest order. The kind of song I wish Grimes wrote.

Vampire Weekend – “Classical”

Only God Was Above Us was my #8 album, so I had to sneak something in.

Albums

The 1975 – Notes On A Conditional Form

The COVID shrug as an album. Not the most compelling or successful The 1975 album—it’s correctly accused of being bloated. Yet it feels the most of its time, which feels right for a list like this. It still captures all my messy, scattered feelings of lockdown.

Alvvays – Blue Rev

A return entry from last week’s newsletter. Because yes, it’s everything I want in an indie guitar album. It’s perfect.

Gang Of Youths – angel in realtime.

The best post-“Beautiful Day” U2 album not made by U2.

Geese – 3D Country

I reviewed this album for Pitchfork upon its release and, though I stand by my review, its bombast and silliness have aged very, very well. Remember when bands didn’t take themsleves so fucking seriously?

TIE: Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher & boygenius – the record

I’m cheating, yes, but these two albums feel too connected to each other to fairly separate: one bookends the other in this decade’s explosion of “lol so sad” core, which I can’t stand anymore but understand to be the most influential “sound” of this decade so far. The original text still sounds great, too.

Pottery – Welcome to Bobby’s Motel

The most underrated band of the decade.

Waxahatchee – Saint Cloud

A return entry from last week’s newsletter. Still the ultimate COVID balm.

Excited to see what new music we get in the next five years.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #61: My seven favorite things of the 2020s so far

Read the original 2020s favorite things post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive weekly curation of my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

Spring 2025 felt like a good time to do this.

Like all my past “seven favorite things” lists, I’m not including my actual favorite moments from the past five years, which mostly involve all the moments I spent with family, friends, and other wonderful people out and about in the world.

The criteria is simple: What “stuff” made me feel happy to be alive?

Ask me tomorrow, and this list will change.

Again, “favorite” is not “best.”

Listed in alphabetical order.

Let’s do it.

Blue Rev

A perfect indie guitar record. It’s everything I want in an album.

Elden Ring

Maybe the greatest video game I’ve ever played. When struggle is by design.

“I Really Want to Stay At Your House”

If music critics took anime more seriously, this could be a legitimate contender for song of the decade.

Oppenheimer

I’ll never forget sitting in a packed movie theater post-COVID and everyone being together in one place, all of us gasping and in awe at that scene. The reason I go to movies in the first place.

Saint Cloud

The ultimate COVID balm.

We’re Not Broken

Eric is a friend of the newsletter, but still: This is the book I wish I had when I was young.

The Zone of Interest

The rare work of art that genuinely had something new to say. Film as pure litmus test.

Excited to see what new stuff we get in the next five years.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #60: The Studio

Read the original The Studio post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive curation of my favorite songs and links of the week. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

As I discussed last week, 2025 feels flimsy in terms of new “stuff” I like. I’m also reaching the age where I don’t place as much value on “new”; I’m happy to sit around and catch myself up on amazing albums and other works of art that I’ve missed instead of checking out whatever trendy show we’ll forget about in three months. But I was compelled to start The Studio after hearing from everyone I trust saying how much they loved it. I did the same thing with Black Bag, but I might save that for next week.

For this week, regarding The Studio: It’s good!

This is maybe my second-favorite Apple TV+ original show as of this writing. (Slow Horses is still my favorite, and I stand by my original gut check that Severance is a smart show for people who don’t read books, which I say out of love because I have some friends who worked on that show and know that a lot of people enjoy it … it’s just not for me.) I especially like all of The Studio’s hyper-local-specific jokes that probably hit harder if you’ve ever lived in LA, which John Mulaney’s Netflix show does well too. The LA and Hollywood-ness of it all might also turn you off if you’re sick of Hollywood winking at itself, which is fair.

I’ve also been historically hot-and-cold on Seth Rogan. I was the perfect age for Judd Apatow’s golden age and loved those movies as a young teen until I rewatched them as an adult; as I get older, I’m less interested in “riffing” filmmaking. But this character as a new studio executive thrust into trying to salvage a sinking ship feels like the ideal Rogan role: Someone who owns up to his vanity but in the service of trying to make something “greater” (or at least something that doesn’t suck), but, unlike most of his other characters, not pretending he’s a nice guy when he’s not. It’s refreshing that Rogan is a compelling lead in a show in which no one pretends to be the hero. The point is not “I hope Rogan finds happiness,” but “I hope this guy can make something great.”

The first episode is worth watching even if you’re on the fence. Rogan probably blew the show’s pilot budget on all those big star cameos, but they all work. Martin Scorsese playing himself is the highlight, though I think Paul Dano was fantastic in his brief scene.

The second episode does feel a little tiring after a while. We get it, we’re doing meta commentary on how tough it is to film a oner while wink wink can you tell that we’re filming this entire episode as a oner and oh by the way let’s remind you for the seventh time that the Goodfellas oner is a classic and blah blah blah. But it still manages to capture a true feeling of modern Hollywood. In my very limited experience of being on a set—I played “Pool Guy #3” as a background actor in a recent Peacock show that I won’t name because I don’t want you to look for my one shot in which you can barely see me from a faraway drone shot—the second episode is pretty spot on about how being on set is essentially like being in a factory, and you’re just raw material being told by union dudes in cargo shorts and leg tattoos (a compliment; those guys rule) where to stand and how to look and what to say and how to say it at any given second, and one slight mistake tears the whole thing down. It’s stressful with a lot of second-hand embarrassment. It’s fun.

So, yes, if you’re into Hollywood making fun of itself and need a new show, I recommend The Studio.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #58: Parathyroidectomy, Part 2

Read the original Parathyroidectomy, Part 2 post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to an exclusive curation of my favorite songs and links of the week. All typos are intentional.

Get future essays sent to your inbox right away here.

Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

So yes. Picking up from last week.

I had a Parathyroidectomy, a fancy way of saying that I had pretty intense neck surgery to remove one of my parathyroid glands due to having primary hyperparathyroidism … another fancy way of saying that one of my parathyroids was producing too much calcium, which has been throwing my body out of sync. According to my doctors and all the new literature I’ve been reading within the past year, all this built-up calcium, if left unchecked, would put me in more danger of more severe health risks down the road. Thus surgery.

I didn’t realize I had primary hyperparathyroidism until a series of routine blood tests during a check-up. (Folks, do your annual physicals). It’s pretty rare for someone as young as me to have this condition; it’s more common for folks to have it in their 70s or 80s. My doctor shared with me too that plausible symptoms from primary hyperparathyroidism included heightened symptoms of anxiety and depression, the latter I’ve been wrestling with for the past few years. I’m not going to blame my entire depression on having too much calcium in my body, yet it did make me think of how often I’ve struggled with depression-like symptoms for almost my entire life, even when I finally started taking antidepressants a year ago. There’s now a realistic chance that this primary hyperparathyroidism has been inside me for much longer than I realize and which, because of its rarity among people my age, was never considered a serious consideration by my past doctors as something to explore.

Since I was young enough to bounce back from having a parathyroid gland taken out of my neck and letting my other parathyroids level out my calcium, and since addressing the issue would, in theory, cause an immediate benefit to my health, my doctors recommended surgery.

And so it went.

Everyone at the hospital was wonderful, and everything seemed to work out.

The recovery also went as planned. I’m glad I was able to take the past weeks off to sleep and recover, though I will add that it’s tough trying to sleep with a sensitive neck. There were some hard days. The physical pain was the worst in the first couple of days, but the hardest part ended up being how for over two weeks, all my energy disappeared. Even when I could go on walks and do things away from the bed or couch, I felt like a zombie. After two weeks, I had moments of panic. Am I going to be this tired for the rest of my life? And then I would go back to sleep.

The energy is finally back as I write these words, though I’m still mindful of not stressing or putting any pressure on my neck. I’m still staying away from exercising except for my usual long walks, and I’m technically not allowed to do any heavy lifting.

Still, It’s crazy today to write that for the first time in maybe five years, maybe since living in NYC during the COVID lockdowns, I feel fully rested. I missed writing a lot, but I was able to keep myself busy catching up on movies, reading, playing PlayStation, getting back into meditation, and doing some serious soul-searching on how to embrace this newfound clarity and sense of peace, and see if I can change some habits and sustain this recovery feeling as I get back into my typical routine. Part of all this new, calm positivity may be those previously-mentioned depression symptoms naturally fading away now that my body has “corrected” its internal logic, or maybe I’m just well rested and glad that, noticeable neck scar aside, the surgery was successful. (It’s a cool neck scar, I swear.) It’s probably a combination of the two. But right now I have this rare happiness that I can only describe as the feeling of coming back from vacation and not feeling like I need another vacation to bounce back from vacation. I can just … exist.

And I can come back to y’all and this newsletter! I have some fun ideas coming up the pipeline and will update y’all when the time is right. It’s good to be back.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.

OPE! Mixtape #57: Parathyroidectomy, Part 1

Read the original Parathyroidectomy, Part 1 post here.

Welcome to OPE!, the newsletter by writer and music journalist Brady Gerber (me). This essay, originally published in my weekly newsletter, is free for all subscribers. Paying subscribers also gain access to the top music news of the week and my favorite songs and links. All typos are intentional.

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Thanksgiving

Well, hello there. How are you?

I’m back!

What was originally going to be a week-long break turned into two weeks of taking it easy and staying offline to recover from my parathyroidectomy (aka throat/neck surgery).

I’m admittedly not 100% back yet—that’s why this week’s essay is so short—but I’m well enough to get back into (some) consistent work and writing. I’m excited to share more details about the surgery and the recovery process when I have more time and energy to write next week.

With love and all the other good things,

-b

Original OPE! logo by Claire Kuang. Words and cartoons by yours truly. My views don’t reflect my clients or the publications and brands I work with. All typos are intentional.